I am determined to get into the spirit of Christmas!! I am going to have a great month, no matter how the things around me appear. We may not "seem" to have the money, but I know it will be okay. Work may "seem" like it is going to be a nightmare, but I'm not going to let it get under my skin. The house may "seem" upside down, but I'm not going to stress about it. Because there are much more important things in my life. I have a wonderful husband....he may not be everything I want him to be, but it could be much worse. He could be a drunk, or a drug addict, or violent, or even not here at all. But he's not any of those things, and I thank God for that. I have 3 wonderful daughters, who make me smile each and every day. My parents and sister are near by too....which is such a blessing. And besides our natural family, we have a wonderful church family that we love and adore. I am so blessed to know all of them, and I look forward to the journey God has for all of us together.
So now matter how crazy this month always seems to get....slow down and enjoy it.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Take Time
There's no way to sugar coat this, it has been a rough week. I'm tired, and I'm sick and tired. My body is wore out, and my nerves are shot. My boss tells me I'm too easy on my salespeople, and then turns around and tells me a salesperson came to him crying that I was too hard on her. Then he said oh by the way we need you to work Wednesday and Sunday this week. I am just totally fried!!
Well today I decided I was going to just relax and not things get to me. I always give the salespeople a motivational quote each morning. Here was today's "You can't pour the perfume of happiness on someone else without a few drops getting on yourself." I told them I knew that the hustle and bustle of the season can be crazy and unbearable. But I want us to be different. Let's keep the Christmas spirit, enjoy it, and have fun!!
Tonight in Kidszone, we had a blast! We let go and had fun in praise and worship. We danced and sang and giggled. And you know what....there is nothing wrong with that!!! I know I needed it. It reminded me that sometimes you just have to stop whining about what you don't have, and just honestly be thankful for what you do have!! Thank you God for all you have done for me, are doing for me, and will still do for me!!
Well today I decided I was going to just relax and not things get to me. I always give the salespeople a motivational quote each morning. Here was today's "You can't pour the perfume of happiness on someone else without a few drops getting on yourself." I told them I knew that the hustle and bustle of the season can be crazy and unbearable. But I want us to be different. Let's keep the Christmas spirit, enjoy it, and have fun!!
Tonight in Kidszone, we had a blast! We let go and had fun in praise and worship. We danced and sang and giggled. And you know what....there is nothing wrong with that!!! I know I needed it. It reminded me that sometimes you just have to stop whining about what you don't have, and just honestly be thankful for what you do have!! Thank you God for all you have done for me, are doing for me, and will still do for me!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Where's my miracle?
It has been a while since I have written, I have sort of been lost in my own misery and not really sure how to get out of it or share it either. I tend to always tell people who ask me "Oh I'm fine" or "Good and you?" and never really talk to anyone about what is going on. I have never had very much luck on the friend scene, so I have a hard time sharing with anyone. And yes, I know, that's not the way God intended, but I have just felt very isolated lately. It's hard to share my worries and concern about our household with so many happily married christian couples. Some days its hard to even sit in church and look around and see so many couples there together. It hurts my heart so much, I can't even explain it. When I see a family sitting together on a row, and the husband very lovingly puts his arm around his wife's shoulders as she shivers with tears during a service touches my heart and breaks it all at the same time. Today a very nice dad at church says to me "you look like your hands are full, can I help?" I almost broke down into tears, I shouldn't have to depend on another man to help us get to the car after church, MINE should be there!! Not only for himself, but for us! I am sick and tired of seeing other families praising together, or praying together....it's mine turn. It may sound selfish...but this is where I'm at.
Well this morning at church God spoke very clearly to me. Just because it may not look like He is doing a work in our house, doesn't mean He is not right in the middle of our mess. Just because the vision He has given me about our family can't be seen right now, doesn't mean it's not coming. I have to be able to look past the current circumstances and see clear to the end result, and just BE PATIENT!!
I just realized something I said to Tyler this week, that I should take as advice for myself. It's much easier sometimes to teach it than to believe it for ourselves. Tyler's eye has been acting up for a while due to allergies, it has been red, and itchy, and irritated. We prayed over it directly one night, laid hands on it and asked that the aggravation be taken away from her. I told Tyler that when we pray for healing, it doesn't always just miraculously get better, it could mean that we know the right medicine to use, or it begins to clear over a few days. But I wanted her to understand just because it didn't immediately change, didn't mean God wasn't listening to her prayers. Well about 2 days after that, she was standing next to me, and my mom was saying maybe we should go see a doctor for it. Right at that moment, I looked at Tyler, and it was in just the right light, and at just the right angle, I saw what looked like a scratch on her eye. So I knew it was time to see a doctor. I talked to Tyler on the way to the doctor, that this was God answering our prayers. If I hadn't looked at her face at exactly that moment I wouldn't have seen it, and probably wouldn't have taken her to the doctor. Plus, I told her that God gives the doctors the knowledge to help us as well. So even though it look like a miraculous healing, God still had a hand in it all along. I need to take these teachings to a 9 year old and apply them in my own life! And remember just because we can't see our miracle right now, doesn't mean it's not coming.
Well this morning at church God spoke very clearly to me. Just because it may not look like He is doing a work in our house, doesn't mean He is not right in the middle of our mess. Just because the vision He has given me about our family can't be seen right now, doesn't mean it's not coming. I have to be able to look past the current circumstances and see clear to the end result, and just BE PATIENT!!
I just realized something I said to Tyler this week, that I should take as advice for myself. It's much easier sometimes to teach it than to believe it for ourselves. Tyler's eye has been acting up for a while due to allergies, it has been red, and itchy, and irritated. We prayed over it directly one night, laid hands on it and asked that the aggravation be taken away from her. I told Tyler that when we pray for healing, it doesn't always just miraculously get better, it could mean that we know the right medicine to use, or it begins to clear over a few days. But I wanted her to understand just because it didn't immediately change, didn't mean God wasn't listening to her prayers. Well about 2 days after that, she was standing next to me, and my mom was saying maybe we should go see a doctor for it. Right at that moment, I looked at Tyler, and it was in just the right light, and at just the right angle, I saw what looked like a scratch on her eye. So I knew it was time to see a doctor. I talked to Tyler on the way to the doctor, that this was God answering our prayers. If I hadn't looked at her face at exactly that moment I wouldn't have seen it, and probably wouldn't have taken her to the doctor. Plus, I told her that God gives the doctors the knowledge to help us as well. So even though it look like a miraculous healing, God still had a hand in it all along. I need to take these teachings to a 9 year old and apply them in my own life! And remember just because we can't see our miracle right now, doesn't mean it's not coming.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
What's your hang up?
The last few weeks in Kidzone, we have been singing a song called "God is Big". The kids love this song, in fact I love this song. They get so excited, and they scream it at the top of their lungs, because they don't know any different. None of the "junk" of the world clouds their view of God. Tyler said to me on the way home from church tonight "did you know that there was no beginning of time, that God always was." And she was completely amazed by it!!
The last few days I have been praying for God to help me "deal" with all kinds of stuff....help me deal with Abigail's asthma, help me deal with bad attitudes at work, help me deal with my frustrations at home....but here's the thing, by asking Him to help me "deal" with it, I am putting Him in a tiny box. I am making Him so much smaller than He actually is. Don't help me deal with Abigail's illnesses, just heal her, take them away from her. Don't help me deal with bad attitudes at work, change their hearts, make me a positive influence that is so BIG they can't help but agree. Don't help me deal with frustration, take the burden off my heart to handle it alone, and help me to truly hand it over to You.
I had no idea how much I was limiting what I thought God could do. How much lack of faith that I really have. He is so much bigger than we can even imagine, our tiny brains can't even begin to comprehend. I can't wait for the day when I get to stand in front of God and say "oh, now I get it".
The last few days I have been praying for God to help me "deal" with all kinds of stuff....help me deal with Abigail's asthma, help me deal with bad attitudes at work, help me deal with my frustrations at home....but here's the thing, by asking Him to help me "deal" with it, I am putting Him in a tiny box. I am making Him so much smaller than He actually is. Don't help me deal with Abigail's illnesses, just heal her, take them away from her. Don't help me deal with bad attitudes at work, change their hearts, make me a positive influence that is so BIG they can't help but agree. Don't help me deal with frustration, take the burden off my heart to handle it alone, and help me to truly hand it over to You.
I had no idea how much I was limiting what I thought God could do. How much lack of faith that I really have. He is so much bigger than we can even imagine, our tiny brains can't even begin to comprehend. I can't wait for the day when I get to stand in front of God and say "oh, now I get it".
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Did I say that???
Everyday I get about 5 different scripture references sent to my email. 1 for healing, 1 for prosperity, 1 for faith building...anyways. As the day goes on, I read them at work to remind me that there is someone bigger than me standing in the gap for me everyday. The verses always seem to be right on time for me...it always seems like it was just what I needed to hear at the moment. Well today I was reading one of the emails that had this verse in it:
Mark 16:17-18 "And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick,and they will recover." It was one I had heard before, didn't really seem to be that big of a deal at the moment...but....one of my salespeople was reading it over my shoulder. He then says "I remember back in the 70's when people really thought they could speak in other tongues" and he proceeded to say a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and then laugh hysterically. Normally, because I didn't want to possibly offend someone, I would have just kept my mouth shut...but today the Lord was not allowing me to get by with that one. The words were coming out of my mouth before I even knew it. I said well actually there are still lots of people TODAY that believe that speaking in tongues is still very real and use them all the time. He laughed again and said "oh come on, you're kidding right? You don't believe in the mess do you?" I said actually I do, I believe there are many examples of tongues throughout the bible, first there are times when people spoke in their own language and everyone heard it in their own, then there are times when there are tongues spoken to a congregation through a member that someone will always have an interpretation for, and then the final type of tongues is a prayer language used to speak directly to God. I think I sort of shocked him, he quit laughing and started to ask real questions. He asked if I thought people yelling and screaming and acting crazy were real. I told him there are always people who put on just for the show, but I personally know people very close to me who very often and fluently pray in the spirit, and I trust them 100% and know that I know that I know that it is real! I told him that as you get more intimate with God in prayer there is a language that comes that is only between you and God.
I couldn't believe that I said that. I would normally not even begin to give my Christian views at work, I always felt that was one place that I shouldn't show that side of myself. But you know what....who cares what they think. Maybe by saying that someone will get one step closer to God. And you know what? If no one there did, I at least hope it will be me, bring me one step closer!!
Mark 16:17-18 "And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick,and they will recover." It was one I had heard before, didn't really seem to be that big of a deal at the moment...but....one of my salespeople was reading it over my shoulder. He then says "I remember back in the 70's when people really thought they could speak in other tongues" and he proceeded to say a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and then laugh hysterically. Normally, because I didn't want to possibly offend someone, I would have just kept my mouth shut...but today the Lord was not allowing me to get by with that one. The words were coming out of my mouth before I even knew it. I said well actually there are still lots of people TODAY that believe that speaking in tongues is still very real and use them all the time. He laughed again and said "oh come on, you're kidding right? You don't believe in the mess do you?" I said actually I do, I believe there are many examples of tongues throughout the bible, first there are times when people spoke in their own language and everyone heard it in their own, then there are times when there are tongues spoken to a congregation through a member that someone will always have an interpretation for, and then the final type of tongues is a prayer language used to speak directly to God. I think I sort of shocked him, he quit laughing and started to ask real questions. He asked if I thought people yelling and screaming and acting crazy were real. I told him there are always people who put on just for the show, but I personally know people very close to me who very often and fluently pray in the spirit, and I trust them 100% and know that I know that I know that it is real! I told him that as you get more intimate with God in prayer there is a language that comes that is only between you and God.
I couldn't believe that I said that. I would normally not even begin to give my Christian views at work, I always felt that was one place that I shouldn't show that side of myself. But you know what....who cares what they think. Maybe by saying that someone will get one step closer to God. And you know what? If no one there did, I at least hope it will be me, bring me one step closer!!
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