Friday, January 30, 2009

Make It Matter!!!

I tell you what....God has really been speaking to me lately through song. (**confirmation that I am involved in the right ministry**) Anyways...He really has. He has put certain songs on my head, heart, and even in my hands (thanks Jenny) that are really touching me and talking to me this week.

This last week since Sunday has seemed like it has lasted a month! I have learned so much about myself, My God, and my relationship with Him. It truly has been amazing.

I have finally realized, and I guess I knew it all along, but apparently God had to hit me upside the head with it to make it stick...but I realized that what I've been through, the bad things that happened or the bad things I did, they simply grow my testimony. Through my mistakes I can minister to others who have made or are making those same mistakes. All those moments in history...are the things that are weaved together to make my coat of many colors (Amen, Pastor Nate!). ALL the things I have seen, done, been through...not just the good stuff, but ALL of it, comes together to form the person God intended me to be. Now I have to use it....make it matter. Check out the words to this Natalie Grant song...it says it perfectly. MAKE IT MATTER!!

Pack my bags and my regrets
Every second that I've wasted
Chasing after
My pursuit of happiness
Has only left me searching
There must be more

[Chorus:]
Take my life and lift me up to the sky
Take my dreams and help me to fly
On the wings of possibility
Come rewrite my history
(till it's) only you I'm chasing after
Take this life and make it matter

Help me give more than I take
Let me see into somebody else's heartache
And be the difference love can make
My heart is finally finding
That there is more

Only one life to live
Only one love to give
Only one life, only one love
So make it, make it matter

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I'm in better hands now....

Lately I have become very addicted to Facebook...I have reconnected with so many old friends. It has been amazing. Tons of memories are flooding my mind, all the fun, being a kid, enjoying life, no responsibilities....as adult rethinking those times, you start to realize why you were that way, or why you acted that way..or maybe you don't, and you start to search inside yourself to figure out what happened. Where did that happyy go lucky girl go??

As I remembered today, my mind was flooded with not only good thoughts....but of all the things I did along the way that I was ashamed of. I know that God has already forgiven me for all of them...but I had to say it to be sure...I begged God to show His grace, and forgive all of those things in my past. Whether I realized at the time they were hurting someone else or not....I knew that God had already wiped the slate clean...but I knew I needed His grace and His mercy upon me to be able to forgive myself.

In the midst of this, He brought to my mind this wonderful song...first I must say it was an amazing feeling, because I know HE put that song in my head. I haven't heard it in forever...in fact it took me a while to remember all the words. But it reminded me that I am in His hands now....and that if I will look to Him before I take a step....He will show me the way!!

I hope this song touches you heart....it definitely has mine today!
(Remember go down and pause the music that is already playing before playing this video)

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A romance

This week I read a wonderful love story...I was in awe of the book and the main character all week as I read each and every page. I was dying to come home each night and read more of their wonderful tale. I longed to have someone "after" me as he was after her. I wanted to be pursued and romanced....and longed for.

My heart ached that I didn't have that type of relationship anymore. You get set in your ways as a married couple with kids, and you lose some of that early relationship pizazz. I wanted to be looked at the way they described this couple looking at each other. I wanted to be kissed the way they did the first time. I wanted to be sought after.

Then tonight, it finally dawned on me...I am sought after everyday by God. He longs for me to be closer to Him. He longs to hold me close and protect me from everything that harms us. He longs to spend quiet moments away with me. He begs of us to take in His love...His perfect love...and then in turn show it to others.

Maybe....just maybe, if I pursued my husband more, rather than waiting for him. Maybe if I lovingly said "I'll do that for you honey", rather than expecting him to handle it. Maybe if I slowed down and really appreciated him for all he does.....I just may see more of what I want coming my way in return.

Rather than expecting someone in my life to change....maybe I need to change first.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

He is Coming!!

I was going through boxes and boxes of books lately looking for yearbooks from school and found a book that I don't think I ever read. When I first became a christian in college, I loved reading anything by Max Lucado. So much so that my bible is a devotional/study bible with notes by him, and I still love it!! Anyways...the particular book used to scare me, I didn't want to think about it....wanted to pretend I was comfortable with the idea, even if it scared me to death. The title of the book is "When Christ Comes". So I sat it out last week, and thought to myself maybe I'll read it now.

So, today I had to wait to pick up Tyler from play practice, and she is always late, so I took this book with me. I only read the first chapter, but WOW!! It hit me hard, so I decided to include an excerpt in my blog tonight. It may be a little long, but worth reading I promise. It really gave me a new perspective on it. Here goes...

"You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or the meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know. So, you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little League baseball game across the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds.
And what they see, and what you see, has never been seen before.

As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None. From whence came the light begins to tumble a river of color - spiking crystals of every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains on myriad at a time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky. North. South. East. West. Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting "Holy, holy, holy".

The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship. Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You don't know why you say the words, but you know you must.
Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns - and there he is. Jesus. Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration: "I am the Alpha and the Omega".


The angels bow their heads. The elders remove their crowns. And before you is a figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know: Nothing else matters. Nothing is newsworthy, All that mattered, matters no more, for Christ has come...."
("When Christ Comes" by Max Lucado)

I am almost in tears now again, just from typing this. Can you even imagine?? My favorite line is when he says that you hear yourself saying "Holy, holy, holy" and you don't even know why. You just know that you should. Amazing!!!

I have 2 comments...the writer goes on to say that he wonders how people feel after reading those words. His comments revolved around 2 responses....discomfort and disappointment. Discomfort at being judged, discomfort in not feeling worthy.
Disappointed in not having the baby you always wanted, or not being married yet, or not seeing your family one last time on earth.

Well, that is COMPLETELY opposite from what I felt. And granted if I had read this book in that first year of belief, I may have been with him....but I felt extreme JOY!! I want to be there, I want to hear that sound, see those sights, be in HIS presence. Could we really see the coming of Jesus in our lifetime?? My heart jumps at the thought. It is so overwhelming just to imagine. Think about it...every square inch of sky filled with angels.

My second comment is....we don't have to wait until we see him face to face to say "Holy, holy, holy". You can feel that feeling now....not knowing why you should say it, but knowing you should. There have been moments at church that I can feel His presence so thick in the air that all I can say or think is "HOLY". I love those moments....I need more of those moments....because He is worthy of all our praise!!!!

Sorry for the long post....but it was the right thing for me today. And hopefully for you too.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Like a Tree...

This morning, Pastor Nate said that though the storms will come and the wind will blow, we will still be standing. He said that God created us to be able to not only survive the storms but to flourish in them.

A verse he used that really struck me was:
"The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree, he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon"
Psalm 92:12

He had done some research on the palm tree to figure out why in the world God would compare His people to a palm tree. It was an amazing story really!! Palm trees have a HUGE root system that can reach out as far as 35 feet from the trunk of the tree. What does that mean??? Well when a hurricane comes, the biggest storm around, it can blow and blow and blow, and a palm tree is so grounded it cannot be moved. It can be flexible and bend in any direction, but never break.


Well he didn't really talk about the second half of the verse. So I decided that if God very purposely choose the palm, the cedar must be important too. I had to find out why. It was sort of funny actually, as I was driving home from church thinking about it, I thought to myself....how did God know the palm would survive all those storms??? DUH!!! HE made the trees knucklehead!

Anyways....so I decided that once I got home I would do some research online about the cedars of Lebanon. I like having something to look up...it gets me into the word like I should be. But for me it gives me a purpose to look and come out the other side with some real answers.

The cedars are the opposite of the palms....they can get big on top. It said online that they can have a huge out shooting of branches. That if this tree is in a large group of trees, it will grow very tall and straight and slender. But if it is by itself, it will grow large reaching branches, that create a huge umbrella of limbs. I thought about this for a long time...here's how I decided to take this. You don't have to be part of a huge group to have strength, as long as you have the Lord on your side. Your testimony can reach out so far all on its own. I'm not saying its not important to be a part of something, because if we are strong alone, how much more can we do together. BUT...you have to have your own strength through God. In the reading I did, it said the cedars of Lebanon were so strong they were used to built huge buildings, including the palace of King Solomon and David.

Simply said, sometimes I have to be reminded that I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might!! And so are you!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A New Approach

Any time something is not going the way I want it to in my life, or someone is not doing what I want them to....I pray for God to change them, or the situation. It's not me God...it's them. Why can't you fix them? God hit me this weekend with a big answer....if something is wrong, maybe it is you....

OUCH!! That was harsh huh?

So I stepped back and thought about it. If there are situations in my life that I am not happy in...how can I fix them? What can I do to change their minds? Then I remembered...all I can do is change how I respond. I cannot change anyone but myself. So maybe if I reacted differently...I would see the same change coming back to me.

Here's an example...we had something happen this week with John and I that would usually start a huge argument. The situation was wide open, begging for a knock down, drag out, full force, screaming match. I could feel it coming like a freight train barrelling down on me. I stopped for a split second, and prayed (not like me, but maybe this shows I should more often)
I asked God to help me diffuse this situation, to keep it from getting out of hand. I said to God that HE would have to stop me, to keep me calm so that I wouldn't say something I would regret later. I didn't want things to go the same way they always had. John just sat there, not saying a word, even if he was asked a question, he stayed quiet. It made me so mad, drove me crazy. I could feel the ugly comments coming up in my throat, ready to burst out....then I heard God say, wait Libby. Not now, don't say that, you don't mean it, hold it. So I did, I didn't say one harsh mean word...I just waited it out. And after about an hour or so the tension went away....like magic.

But I know it wasn't magic...it was totally 100% GOD!!! And even now as I sit here and think about it...John may not know it, but God was working on and through him too. He would have normally exploded and just yelled and screamed....but at the very beginning John said to me stop talking to me, I'm trying not to yell. I totally blocked that out yesterday, I didn't even hear it...I just realized how amazing that is!!!

We sang a song in childrens church tonight that says:
"Trust, trust in the Lord
Lean not on your own understanding
In all, all of your ways acknowledge Him,
He'll make your path straight.

You'll be my God for life
I'll walk by Your side
With your hand in mine
I'll go where You lead me

My eyes can only see
The ground beneath my feet
Your dreams are greater
Your ways are higher
O Lord please show me."

I told the kids that all we see is the stuff right in front of our face, God is so much bigger, He knows our past, our future and everything in between...so why not rely on Him when making a big decision? He only wants what's best for us, and can He see the whole picture.

I tell you what, some nights I learn more from children's ministry than they do.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Struggles

On my way home from work tonight, I heard someone speaking on the local christian radio station about dealing with struggles. I thought to myself this may be the perfect thing for me to listen to...maybe it was God's timing for me to turn on the radio and hear this....maybe I would find a new way to approach some of the struggles in my life.

This person said that God "allows" us to have struggles in our life to teach us something. That maybe the struggles didn't come from God, but where ever they came from, He was the keeper of the gate, and He decided whether or not to let them into our lives...so eventually they were from Him. He allowed bad things into our circumstances so He could teach us something through the trial.

STOP THE TRAIN....SAY WHAT???

John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

That does not fit in with the before mentioned....the enemy sends destruction into our paths, not Our Father. The enemy sends doubt into our thoughts, not Our Loving God. The enemy sends strife our way, not The Holy One.

I do believe that God gives us everything we need to defeat any enemy that comes into our path, but I do not think that He allows things to stop us from our daily walk.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

The devil does everything he can to distract us from our purpose...not to stop us from getting to heaven, because that is already decided, and he knows that...but to stop us from using our testimony to get others to God.

I would love to hear others thoughts on this one....it could help encourage me, or anyone else who reads this....what do you think???