New look and a new outlook

I really am trying....I promise. Thankfully the Lord is being patient with me....He is giving me the time to ask my questions, to understand, and process ALL that is going on lately. All without getting angry or disappointed in me.

I am slowly starting to get a clue....does that mean I understand it yet?...no. Does that mean I stopped questioning?...no. Does that mean I can accept it completely yet?.....no, but I'm working on it. God is hitting me with it in small bits so I can soak it all in.

It started with a verse reference. I get emailed to me each day 4 different scriptures....one on faith, one on prayer, one on healing, and then just one extra for good measure. Honestly, some days I don't get the time to really take it all in like I would like too...in fact some days I don't even have time to read it....but this day, I sat there and just stared at the words for a long time...reading them over and over and over.

It was this verse in Habakkuk 2
3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.

I just sat there and read it so many times....God told me Abigail would be healed, but in His time, not mine. That I just needed to calm down, have peace about it....and wait for it. Now don't get me wrong here....I still believe she should have the surgery. I don't believe that God is saying wait for Him to miraculously heal her....but wait to see His vision for her come to pass.
So I took that as a word directly from God.

Then today on the way home from work....I think He spoke to me again but this time in a song.
The words say "You're not alone for I am here, I will wash away your every fear. My love I've never left your side and I have seen you through your darkest nights. I'm the one who's loved you all you life."
That hit me like a ton of bricks....I balled coming down that mountain road!!! He is right here....even when it feels like He's not sometimes....He's right there just waiting for me to ask Him to help. Well I am right here asking Lord....I feel so overwhelmed by all of this....work, home, church, Abigail....I need Your guidance...and more than anything Your peace about it all.

When I got home tonight, I started reading in a new bible study that me and a wonderful friend just started calling "Knowing God by Name". It takes Hebrew names of God and explains them, with verses and old hymns...well tonight's lessons was about Yahweh...and it talks about "I AM"...the thing I really got from this study is He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Bottom line is He hasn't let me down yet, so why would He start now????