Tuesday, August 25, 2009

He is lining it all up....

I haven't written in a few days because I really didnt know what to write about....there is kind of nothing and all kinds of things going on at the same time. But I decided this morning that it all comes down to God lining things up to happen the way He wants them to.

It great to be able to stand back and look at the situation and see where God was putting things in motion, even though we couldnt see it at the time. I read something a few weeks ago that has really stuck with me since then....and it really related to this.

We, as humans, tend to picture God as one of us, just a person, small, simple minded. But He is SO NOT THAT!!! He is not held down by time or space. He can step back and look at our whole situation all in one view...not be stuck in the circumstances like we tend to get. He can see your whole life even. He sees what you are going through and says ok she's at that point now, I think she will need a little grace for this step....ok, she made it through that now she will need a little extra healing touch for this next part....ok, now she pushed through that, she will need some loving kindness for this step. He gives us each day what we need to get through that day. If He gave me everything I needed to get through the next month, I dont think I could handle it all at once. I dont think my tiny brain can hold it all.

So this morning...I have decided to try to calm down, and take everything one day at a time. I know that is an old saying...but really do any of us ever live that way? Can you honestly say that you go through your day not wishing it was tomorrow, or the weekend?

Here is my prayer for today....
"Guide me in Your truth and teach me,
for You are God my Savior,
and my hope is in You all day long." Psalm 25:5 (NIV)

Here is another great translation in the Amplified....
"Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long."

I will wait on You expectantly today....because I know You have something BIG in store for me today!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Still scared...

Last night I was laying in my bed praying before going to sleep and I started praying about Abigail....and I got distracted. I was thinking about having to take her today for 2 shots. I haven't told her yet though....she knows we are going to the doctor, but she doesn't know its for 2 shots. And I was thinking about having to tell her that it is for her own good, and it will be ok.
Then, this is where the devil swooped in....I then thought about the day they will have to wheel her into surgery, without her mommy, and I will have to say those same words....it will be ok I promise, they are trying to make your better. Even as I type this today, I am crying. I am so scared for my little angel. I know that God will take care of her, and He has her and me right in His hands....but still...this will be scary.

It has been 3 weeks since her appt, and we still haven't heard from the doctors at Duke about when the surgery will be. I feel once I have a date, I can begin to prepare myself for it. I am strong in my faith, because of He that is in me....but when it comes to my children the human in me still gets scared. I am ready for all of this to be over.