Saturday, December 20, 2008

Holy Ghost Fit!!

This morning on the way to work I was dragging big time. I didn't want to be out of bed, I definitely didn't want to go to work. I decided I would turn on some Christian radio to try to revive me. I ended up having me a little Holy Ghost happy dance. I was singing, crying, almost ran off the road. Not what I expected at 730 on a Saturday morning. Anyways, I decided the words to the song were the perfect post for today. So I hope it touches you too (especially the chorus, that's what got me!!!)

"I have been a wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned sovereignty
and had my share of doubts.

And though sometimes

my prayers feel like their bouncing off the sky,
the hand that holds won't let me go
and is the reason why .

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved!!!
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand, I will not be moved.

Bitterness has plagued my heart
many times before
My life has been a broken glass
and I have kept the score
of all my shattered dreams
and though it seemed
that I was far too gone
my brokenness helped me to see
it's grace I'm standing on.

And chaos in my life
has been a badge I've worn
and though I have been torn
I will not be moved."



Thursday, December 18, 2008

Praise Jesus!!


All I've got to say is if she can do it....so should you!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Being thankful...even if its late

Today was a rough (rough is not nearly a strong enough word!!) day at work. I got yelled at by a salesperson, I got yelled at by a customer....I almost popped a blood vessel over it. It was all I could do to control my tongue. I had an algebra teacher in high school who always said the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body, thus the hardest to control. (You have to imagine an older lady, with gray hair in a really tight bun, looking down her nose at you and you'll get the picture) Well today, I finally believe her!! I had a VERY hard time keeping my mouth shut today. But at the end of the day, I decided I had too many things to be thankful to let either of them, or anything else for that matter, get to me. So I decided tonight, I was going to list them. And yes I missed thanksgiving by a couple of weeks, but give me a break, it's been a busy time for me.
Soooo...drum roll......here it goes......

First and foremost, I am thankful that no matter who I am, or what I do, I have a heavenly Father that loves me and looks after me every day. I always think back to the verse that says all the hairs on our heads are numbered. WOW!!! (Imagine that...a year ago I would have never thought I could quote a verse. Maybe I don't have a clue where it is yet, but hey baby steps right??)

I am so thankful for my parents. I love my mommy!! We fought like crazy when I was a kid, but now I don't know what I would do without her. She is my best friend. And my dad, has only physically been around since I was 9, but as far as I am concerned HE is my dad, no matter what blood says. He is always there to pump me up and encourage me in anything I do.

I love my sister too. For all her craziness, I still love her to death. She's still young, and a little nuts....but I am so glad that we are all nearby and can be together whenever we want.

My dearest John....I know I have been rough on him lately, but I really do adore him. I have been trying to approach him from a new angle lately, and I think it has really made a difference. No where near as much yelling, and it continues to get better each day. He is a wonderful father, and that is huge. He could be a crazy, drunk, absent dad...but he's not.

These 3 silly girls are my life...I wouldn't trade anything for them in the world. It is new and fun everyday!! They are so adorable...there are so many moments that I almost cry just looking at them.

I am so thankful for the wonderful church family that we have found. I believe nothing is an accident, God planned for us to be there now. It is amazing to me how perfectly we fit in there. I couldn't ask for anything better. Each and every person at Breakthrough is so amazing, they each hold a special place in my heart. I know without a shadow of a doubt, if I ever needed any of them, all I'd have to do is ask, and they wouldn't hesitate for a second.

I am amazed at the way God is using me. I am loving Praise and Worship with the kids. Every week I think, maybe I'll have someone fill in so I can go to "real church". But then God reminds me I don't have to be in the sanctuary to praise Him. He is so right (duh!!) I love singing with the kids, they have so much fun, energy, and excitement all rolled into a little tiny body.

I am extremely thankful for the new found relationship that I am entering into with God. Each day I feel a little closer to Him. I never thought this would be where I am, but I love it. And I ask for more each day. He freely gives as the heart desires.

I am sure there are tons more....but I'm going to start with these. I just needed to take some time to remember no matter how bad it may seem, it never really is "that" bad.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

On the edge...

Why do I feel like I am always right on the edge?

On the edge of a breakthrough or a breakdown? I'm not sure which. I know God has plans for me and my family....but at the same time I also know the devil has plans to stop them. It just feels like a constant power struggle inside of me. I know it sounds like a ridiculous cartoon that we have all seen, but I feel like God has one arm and Satan has the other, and they are just constantly tugging in each direction. And some days I am just so tired...too tired to fight either way. I feel like my life is a huge roller coaster ride, with tons of ups and downs. But honestly, I'm ready for the flat part of the ride. I don't want to be worried anymore about more about the big drop that is just around the corner.

And yes I know that I am being melodramatic....but I just want things to be simplier. Why does everything have to seem like a battle?

Monday, December 8, 2008

Three in one

I was thinking today about how differently I act in different places. There is Libby at church, Libby at work, and Libby at home. And sometimes they are all polar opposites.
Libby at church and Libby at home are finally starting to come together as one. I am finding ways to share my feelings and faiths at home, without being pushy. You don't have to talk the talk all the time...sometimes you just need to walk the walk in front of them. I am very happy with the progress that is happening in our house, no matter how slow it may seem. God tapped me on the shoulder the other day and said that He doesn't have to show John, He only has to remind John of His might. John knows, or at least he used know at one point, but just some where along the way he forgot how wonderful Our God is. How faithful, how caring, how loving, how gracious, how forgiving, how amazing, and just HOW BIG He is!!!! I know God can do ALL things, but to me reminding John seems much easier than showing him for the first time.
My problem lately though is figuring out who Libby at work is. It's hard to be the boss, you can't say this, or you shouldn't do that...but somewhere along the line you still have to be tough. I have been very concerned lately with some of the things happening at work. If things are being done by upper management that I don't agree with, at what point just because I'm there does it make me just as guilty? My grandmother always used to say "If you lay down with dogs, you'll wake up with fleas." I know I don't work for a christian business, but still....should I have to be a different person? Or hold back who I am supposed to be?
I have been sick (AGAIN!!) lately, and I was talking to my mom today. I told her I think I am just basically worn out. I get sick, and feel guilty about missing work so I don't, but then I never get completely better, so I just get beat down and sick again. My mom's answer to that was I needed to cut down on some of the "extra" stuff I do so that it doesn't affect work. She said I couldn't let volunteering at the kids school or at church keep me from being able to do my job. I told her that was completely wrong. 50 hours + work a week, that's what wears me out. I shouldn't have to give up what I enjoy so that I can be at work more!! I could barely talk at all today (and I'm in sales!!) and it never occurred to anyone to say "hey, you know what? You are always here, you look like you feel bad, go home." At what point are we trying too hard and killing ourselves to impress others, than to do what's right for us? I know that God has a vision for me....and it is not hocking furniture for the rest of my life!! Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it is not going to define my existence.

Ok....I am officially stepping off my soap box now. My biggest downfall, at work, at home, at the kids school, and yes even at church is that I don't know how to just say no. At some point, I have to slow down and get some rest. So if you pray for me at all, I hope it will be for the ability to finally learn to say no occasionally.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

It's a New Season

"It's a New Season.
It's a New Day.
Fresh Annointing is coming my way.
It's a season of power and prosperity.
It's a new season coming to me."

This song just popped into my head as I sat here thinking about what to type. Every time we think we are "out" of fresh oil or fresh wine, God fills us again. We are given a Fresh Annointing to deal with each day that is set before us. All we have to do is slow down long enough to ask for it and then be ready to listen and then do what He says. It may not be the way we see, or the way we want to handle it, or the way we think it should go....but we have to realize that HE knows so much more than us. And wants the best for for His children, no matter how it may seem on the surface. He knows our past, our present, and our future. I'm guessing if He says go left, not right...He knows what is at the end of that road for us, and maybe we should listen. I'm not saying it will always be easy, but why do we always tend to take everyone else's advice before His? The hard headed, self reliant, "know-it-all" in us all may not think He has it all figured out, but I am starting to learn, He does.

Monday, December 1, 2008

My shelter

There has been a song in my heart the last few days that we sang at our church in SC. It has been resonating in my spirit for a while, so I decided the words to that song was a perfect posting to share. It's called "Made Me Glad" by Hillsong.

I will bless the Lord forever.
I will trust Him at all times.
He has delivered me from all fear.
He set my feet upon a rock I will not be moved.
And I'll say of the Lord...
You are my shield, My strength, My portion, Deliverer, My shelter, Strong tower,
My very present help in time of need.
Whom have I in heaven but You.
There's none I desire besides You.
You have made me glad.
And I'll say of the Lord...
You are my shield, My strength, my portion, delivered, my shelter, strong tower,
My very present help in time of need.


Amen and Amen!!!